It's been years since my last post. A lot has happened, most tragically, the sudden death of my 33 year young son. As I wait to receive the final medical examiner's cause of death some 5 plus months after my son's passing in July and with the beginning of a new year after the first year of the century being one for the history books, I find myself wishing to express myself to the world. To speak about how with support from my son's father and his brother, my other son, especially and from good friends plus with the distraction of film, literature, and music I live through this mourning, grieving of my child's death. I had a conversation with a mother from a bereavement group in which I participated that has encouraged me to see my son's passing in a different sense. She and I have many similarities and it was an energetic, sensitive back and forth about our belief's in the meaning in death, religious and spiritual paths, and included learning that we each had psychic readings when our sons were young. Talking to my friend about my insecurity in my own faith, and I mean faith as in the true sense of the word and not in its expression as one's religion, and hearing my her speak about her own, was soothing to my soul. It uplifted me and brought me to this place. This and an email from a reader about this, my blog, have spurred me on to write again. So in this roundabout way, I come to begin January 2021, finding some fulfillment through in other ways by pondering, listening, and watching and then writing. Let me "feed" [my, our souls] posting a "3-day beginning of January Literature and Film writings for and from the soul" inspired by the title and a part of the article Feed your soul: the 31-day literary diet for January. I had originally thought to do 31 days, and I might continue with more days, but for now...the three days posts below is it.

3-days beginning to January - Literature and Film Writing for and from the Soul

1. Based on T.S. Eliot's Journey of the Magi and Tim Martin's reading below, I am able to see that there is a beauty in death that may ring in a new consciousness. I chose Martin's reading rather than the audio of the Eliot himself. I found Martin's version to be beautifully mellifluous and wondrous.
   
   
   
   
   
2. The Road to Calvary, is a Russian TV Series based on the writing from Aleksey Nikolayevich Tolstoy. Aleksey is distantly related to the renowned author Leo Tolstoy (War and Peace) and also to Ivan Turgenev who, of less known fame, is another important Russian author. In researching the material for day two to my feed the soul in 31 days of January post, my stream of consciousness brought me naturally to poetry again. I have always had an interest in Poetry in both the reading and writing of it. I suppose I could continue to add days with the theme of poetry in film. I'm not sure I'll do that. It could always be a topic for another post. For now though enjoy this clip where the  fictional famous poet is introduced and reads one of his pieces during a lecture.
   
   
   
   "Snow is coming this winter. Snow is coming. Swirling wildly above the cold earth. The world became even sadder this autumn. How can we survive the frosts? I refuse to believe that there's no God. Let my prayer flow like a stream, a half-whispered Russian syllable from candle to candle. In expectation of something bigger my soul freezes in fear and death keeps watch, cold blooded, untrembling. The storm's groan seems to be alive and looking for its escape as it circles and turns its gray-haired mistress and holds earth in its thrall."  I tried using an audio to text translation application and it gave me a better reading than the subtitles show. I am going to see if a friend who knows Russian can listen and maybe make this translation even clearer. As it stands, I like how it reads. The line about refusing to "believe that there's no God" reminds me of the conversation with my friend about faith. A switch flipped in my mind. I feel solid, "untrembling" and steady. The expectation to believe in something bigger is no longer freezing my soul in fear. I am a gray-haired mistress being held by earth in its thrall.
3. My research today brought me from the article Finding the Story to an article Affect.  This article begins with a quote from Baruch Spinoza.  Of course I had to follow that up inquiries to remind myself about the philosopher.
   • "Along with several other important thinkers, Baruch Spinoza laid the principles of the Enlightenment and of the contemporary ideas regarding the state and democracy. Without losing his spirituality, this 17th century Dutch philosopher of Sephardi/Portuguese origin expressed criticism in the way the Bible used to be interpreted by considering it should be analyzed as an important book of scientific knowledge instead of one of 'truth by revelation.'
   • His work is also important for the adoption of a new human relationship of nature, as he believed that nature is everything. Nowadays, with regard to climate change and the questions posed by it, Spinoza’s quotes acquire a new meaning and can help to bring people and other living creatures closer together in nature."
   I am selecting the following quote one of many from Spinoza about peace in order to end today's writing. "Peace is not the absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition of benevolence, confidence, justice." Some films that come to mind, particularly with the justice part are Good Night, and Good Luck, Glory, Hidden Figures, and Erin Brokovich. I would love to hear what books, poetry or films come to your mind when you think of these traits. 
   I send a wish for all to receive peace a state of mind and disposition to bring "benevolence, confidence, and justice" to yourself and others. I am going to strive to be kind (to myself and others), confident (yet humble), and to seek justice (where able). I think these are all traits that can benefit our souls.